Posts Tagged With: emotional choices

I was never happy with the way I looked

A few months ago, I was listening to A Prairie Home Companion which is a public radio program most widely known for their Lake Wobegon bit where “all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.”  I catch this show occasionally on NPR when I am driving on the weekends, but I never got around to finding out specifically when it aired.  I enjoy the happenstance of it because I love the show and I am always entertained, so it’s like a fun surprise when I find it.  My favorite bit is when they tell a story and pair it with sound effects that are incredible to listen to.  Really makes the story unfold before your very….ears.  One of the funniest I’ve heard is titled “Rhubarb” which ruthlessly makes fun of Californians, our bizarre eating habits and food allergies.  I know my mother-in-law will enjoy that one a little too much.  ;)  You definitely have to listen to it rather than read it.

One prose poem series struck a deep chord with me though and I haven’t been able to shake it since I heard it in November.  It was a four poem series read aloud by the author, Louis Jenkins, and they were each incredible.  The final poem resonated with me so much that I have since found myself approaching my self-image in a completely different way.

If you would indulge me and watch the video….rather, if you would click on the video, then close your eyes or turn the image off somehow and just listen to the poems, it will be much more powerful.  The video is distracting of where your mind can take it.  All of them are great, but I am going to reference the last one.  So if you can’t spare 5 minutes to hear the whole thing, then you can start at 4:10…..I would suggest you do yourself a favor and listen to them all.  :) Here are the poems:

I love these.  Each of them is funny and thought provoking.  However, while I was listening to these real time in my car and heard the line “I was never happy with the way I looked” I was immediately overcome with tears and sadness.  How many people go through life this way?  And for what?  I think it’s not exclusively women, either.  I think for most of us, self-image is intricately tied to our self-worth.  And the negative crap we pour on ourselves day in and day out is exhausting.  I don’t like my thighs or my hair is too oily or my face is so covered in acne that no one will want to look at it.  I’ve recently watched videos of myself when I was 10 years old and while watching, I started having negative self-talk about how I looked in the video!  At age 10!  What kind of sickness is that??

I don’t know where this overly critical negative self-talk started or how I got so sucked into it, but ever since I heard that line from Louis Jenkins, I have been seriously reconsidering how I consider myself.  I cannot think of anything more sad than never liking how I looked, ever.  To have that as a final reflection on my life…..I don’t know, the thought kills me.

It is a practice to look in the mirror with clothes on, clothes off, whatever and directly say “I like how I look today”.  It’s a strange feeling being okay with yourself.  I’ve felt it emotionally before, and even felt it physically (on the inside) by being “okay” with my colitis.  Trying it on with external physical beauty was a whole new and awesome feeling.

Okay, of course, you also don’t want to go around like “Gosh, I’m the prettiest thing ever and I am so much better than everyone since I’m SO gorgeous.”  Obviously there’s a balance.  It’s like yoga: a non-judgmental look at yourself with zero expectations.  You don’t have to hate yourself or how you look; that’s not a pre-requisite for being a good person.  Here’s a kooky idea: try on being happy with how you look, even for five minutes.  Just as an experiment.  Then maybe you’re happy with it for an hour.  Then for a few hours.  Then maybe, one whole day goes by where you are happy with how you look!  Now that’s crazy talk.

At any rate, I still struggle with this concept but whenever I am feeling particularly scathing toward myself, I think if this poem and it puts me back in a better frame of mind.  Now if I could only remember what it is I came down to the basement for….

ALISA’S RECIPE CORNER

Instead of music, I’ll mix it up today with a recipe for plant-based lasagna.  Plus Vegetable Lasagna always makes me think of Seinfeld and laugh.  I made this the other day for a potluck and it was actually good!  Took a lot of time; this is not a “quick and easy” recipe because you have to create the noodles by hand from the squash.  But it was delicious.  FYI, the “cheese” recipe makes way too much for this lasagna.  Do not pour all the extra cheese on the dish…I did that and it overwhelmed everything.  Use the directed amount and I’m sure you’ll be fine.  There’s a lot of other fun, less time-consuming recipes on the YumUniverse website you can check out too.  :)

Vegetable Lasagna recipe

Categories: Self-care, Self-love | Tags: , , , | 8 Comments

“Your diet confuses me”

confused

I get this a lot.  Or variations on the theme:  “I don’t understand what you’re eating right now.” “Are you allowed to eat that?”  “Can you eat _______?”  Well, in theory, I could eat tinfoil and wash it down with bacon grease.  It’s just not a good idea for me at this point.  I got this “your diet confuses me” from my well-intentioned friend Jeff recently.  To be honest, your diet confuses me, Jeff.  haha.  Not really, yours is very straightforward: rare steak, cheddar cheese, Ritz, ranch dressing, Coke and dark beer.   Done.  Oh and Bombay Sapphire, of course.  :)

I think what confuses most people about my “diet” or what I eat is that it is not entirely consistent.  I change it a lot.  I cheat quite a bit now that I’m healthier and my colon is feeling better.  My food choices depend on the day at this point.  But in the end, my main goal is simply to eat a lot of vegetables.  It’s funny how the old, stereotypical message of “eat your vegetables” turns out to be my basic truth!  I would venture to say that we all need to be eating a stupid amount of vegetables.  And fruits of course.  But the green stuff just is going to help you.  Period.  The slick part is that the more green stuff you’re eating (and I don’t mean the apple flavored sour candy), then the less of the other stuff you’re eating.

I happened upon this article titled, “blah blah blah, recycled information that I’ve read 1000 times on mindbodygreen.com, etc., etc.”  Oh I’m sorry, my mistake, it was called Don’t Overthink Your Diet, Just Eat More Plants.  And here I am, super hypocritical, retyping the same message.  But you absolutely can’t hear it enough.  It’s like in teaching where you will say a concept 100 times and the student is not getting it.  But then a guest speaker comes in and says the exact same thing and the student’s like “hey, I wish someone would have told me that earlier!”  And then the teacher wants to punch themselves in the face…..but they are also happy the the student finally got it.  So I feel like if it gets mentioned enough, then at least one new person will get it every time.

At the hippie place in OB where I buy my tea for my kombucha, I was talking to the tea guy about food and eating this and that, and he gave me an example I definitely relate to.  He said he loves and drinks tea because it’s the opposite of nachos.  My reaction was of course, laughter.  Then: “What?  What does that even mean?” “Well, nachos taste amazing.  Sometimes, you really enjoy eating them.  Then later on?  You feel like absolute crap.  Your stomach hurts, you have to run to the bathroom.  But with tea…maybe it sometimes it’s delicious or sometimes it tastes like crap when you are drinking it.  But my goodness.  You feel amazing later on.”  That’s how I want my food to make me feel.  Like a million bucks.  It’s what I have to keep reminding myself of when I want to reach for that extra piece of bread or the free cheesecake that’s on the dinner table at the fancy event I went to tonight!  Hypothetically speaking.  (I ate the cheesecake, by the way.  And felt like crap later on.)

The other side of confusion is helping those who want to eat better but aren’t exactly sure how.  I am pretty good at knowing my body at this point, what’s going to make it feel good and not.  I call my diet “Food That Doesn’t Make Me Feel Like Crap.”  This handle on what’s good/what’s bad does not mean it’s super easy to stick to, but at least I have a little bit of that awareness.  Many people don’t, which is fine, but the lack of knowledge definitely can make picking out what to eat for meals and snacks a challenge.  Keep it simple, as mentioned before: don’t stress over it and eat more vegetables, as close to how you found them in the ground as possible.  I find that when I’m having a stretch of days like today where I’m feeling….not great….then I take stock of what I’ve been eating and it turns out to be mostly non-vegetable.  It’s a continual practice of bringing those foods back in, again and again.  Staying creative and making it interesting helps a lot.

Here’s to green foods and happy tummies.  Now if I could just kick that craving for dark chocolate….

ALISA’S MUSIC CORNER

This is tough because I’ve been listening to a lot of old stuff recently, nothing too new to report here.  I will say that it is the 30th anniversary of Thriller coming up in December.  I was only….1.83 years old when the video came out, which means I didn’t appreciate it right away, but I love it.  I use it often when I’m teaching College Success courses because it’s around this time of year that they learn about note taking.  I make them practice taking notes with the Thriller video!  I learned today that it was the first real music video ever aired by MTV.  Talk about setting a high standard.  Geez.  That thing is epic.  So basically, I listened to a lot of Michael Jackson today.  Truthfully, this was all set off because John Mayer covered a slow, bluesy version of “Off the Wall” when we saw the show last week.  It was great and that song has been in my head ever since!  Enjoy.

Off_the_wall

Categories: Colitis, Food and Diet, Outside viewpoints | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Colonoscopy prep

First of all, thank you for all the kind texts, emails, comments and in person comments (real life comments? is that allowed?) about my recently reported reduction in inflammation.  It is truly amazing how lucky I am to have such great people in my life.  Thank you.

Also, many people have been asking about the colon cleanse that I went through instead of taking the drugs that were prescribed for the procedure.  I did not make this decision lightly, and no I didn’t consult my doctor on it.  I did write him an email about a week prior, asking if there were any alternative supplements or anything like that I could take, but didn’t exactly let him in on my plan.  Like so many things in life, I figured it would be easier to ask forgiveness than permission.  This was a dicey maneuver on my part, I realize that.  But it made no sense to me (still doesn’t) why you would ask someone who has diagnosed UC to take such a strong laxative.  Many UC patients have daily symptoms of diarrhea, bloating, stomach cramping, and painful passage of stool.  Then the doctor wants you to take something that induces diarrhea, bloating, stomach cramping, nausea and for many people, vomiting, anal irritation and painful passage of stool (which, granted, probably just comes from all the pooping).  To me, it just doesn’t add up.  Additionally, every single person I talked to who already had a colonoscopy said things like: “The prep is the WORST!” “Good luck, the prep is terrible!” which didn’t add to my excitement.  As a result, I decided to take matters into my own hands and change it up.

There is a decent amount of work that went into the prep, so I created a new page for it.  I hope it serves as a good reference if you ever want to take on this challenge for yourself.  I will say that it was a challenge.  As you may remember, I tried a three day liquid diet in December and it was too hard to stick to.  I didn’t get into too many specifics in that post, but it was a difficult time emotionally, physically and mentally.  I broke down after only a day and a half and made soup for goodness sake.  I didn’t take it seriously enough and was still trying to maintain my everyday life, despite taking in zero calories.  Now that makes no sense.

This time around, I had a larger incentive to “do well” because of the scheduled colonoscopy.  If I didn’t clean out my colon, they couldn’t see what they needed to, and I’d have to reschedule the whole thing.  I did not want that outcome.  Plus I knew that I was breaking new ground by not going the normal route.  I wanted to be an example for other UC peeps to follow (and anyone else that may want to try it for their own colonoscopy).  I was very mindful of clearing out my calendar, and only committing to one social event for the weekend, which is a big deal for me.  I knew I had to let my body fully relax and come into a place of healing on its own, without trying to add in extra stressors.

Check out the new page, feedback is always appreciated and encouraged.  :)

ALISA’S MUSIC CORNER

Over the last year or so, I’ve been semi-obsessed with Allen Stone.  One of my favorite live songs of his is a cover of Bob Marley’s “Is This Love“.  The arrangement is just killer, beautiful harmonies, etc.  The other day, I was watching an old episode of Parenthood (I love that damn show) and in the background, I heard a woman singing the same freaking arrangement!  I immediately jumped on the google machine to figure out this mystery and it turns out that Allen Stone is just ripping off Corinne Bailey Rae’s version!  Granted, he still kills it.  His is a much bigger production with the band, etc.  But the concept was hers…I think?  Who knows, really.  Kind of goes back to an old argument that I’ve had with Jon and the Pirazzinis over whether or not a song is “better” if the person singing is the one who wrote it.  I still stand to the fact that just because a person wrote the song doesn’t make it inherently better when they perform it.  Some songwriters are terribile performers.  Some performers are terrible songwriters.  But for better or worse, wind was definitely taken out of my sail when I found out the innovative arrangement I fell in love with at an Allen Stone show had little to do with Allen Stone himself, other than his great taste in covering cover songs.

Oh yeah, back to what I was listening to.  :)  Corinne Bailey Rae on Spotify, of course.

corinnebaileyrae

Categories: Cleansing, Colonoscopy, Patient History | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Well hello there.  In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been putting off writing for some reason.  And then the longer the break expands and takes up space, the more pressure builds on what comes next.  This is all in my head, of course.  What’s very interesting is that I actually missed writing.  But as much as I missed it, I still didn’t do it.  What is that about?  Why does motivation seem so elusive sometimes?  For me, it’s lack of motivation and also a sense of “it has to be AMAZING and EPIC and LIFE-CHANGING” in order for it to be a good post.  I apparently have a competitive performance-anxiety issue that is quite pervasive.  One of my favorite stories that some of you may have heard is from my kindergarten teacher….20 years after kindergarten.  I saw her a few years back when I was 26 and she A) remembered who I was which is always fun and B) had some amazing insights into my apparently already formed personality at age 5.

Side story: I had a major hint that my personality was set early on (as a lot are) when I read my baby book with personality descriptions written by my mom.  As a baby, I was really smiley and happy….unless one of my parents walked by without picking me up which is obviously super uncalled for.  I loved hugs, attention, reading (my sister taught me when I was 3), making others happy, and was very determined.  Doomed from the start. :)

At any rate, I run into my kindergarden teacher and it’s all “hey! hi! how are you, life is good, general niceties, etc”.  Then she starts in with “You know I remember you and Jill Pasqualetto and Brandon Davis used to be really good friends [yes, she remembered full names 20 years later!] and you were always really competitive.  You wanted to be the best.  But you were the most competitive with yourself.”  Jeez.  Was I that transparent my whole life…..and since I was FIVE?  I wish she could have told me that, you know, a few years earlier into my 20s.  But it was a huge wakeup call even then.  It wouldn’t be for a few more years that I would start to take my health more seriously, and a few more years after that that I would start to piece together that my stress of trying to be the best at everything while also being in control of everything was slowly draining me.

All of this to say, I’m going into this post without expectation for myself.  It’s something new I’m trying on.  I’m aiming to approach things in life as I would a yoga pose: with interest and curiosity without a sense of “I have to get this right”.  It’s a strange thing that I’ve been practicing “on the mat” for awhile but applying it to real life has been a lot slower.  But I think it’s helping.  Which is good.

What else is going on.  Colitis update.  I had an appt with a new GI, Dr. Barrett Levesque, last Monday and have a colonoscopy scheduled for April 29, my first!  So exciting (she said sarcastically).  No, it will be good to get a baseline for where I’m at since I’ve been off meds for over 8 months now and never had a full colonoscopy.  I still have good days and bad.  I’m still learning my emotional, stress, and food triggers, and at what times of the day and month those are more prevalent.  It’s a hard freaking process.  But it’s fun and I am continuing to approach my ever-present colitis as a spotlight where I can more accurately shine my love and attention.  The new doctor is light years better than my last.  He is an expert in IBD and is open to trying out different things, although he is still very entrenched in the “fact” that a prescription will make my colitis go away, we just haven’t found the right one yet.  It’s how he is trained and how he approaches disease, which is fine.  He answered all of my questions, including ones about how stress and exercise play a role in IBD.  His perspective is that although stress plays a role, when my colon is healthy and functioning at a blood-free level, then the stresses will not affect it as much.  But as it is right now, the inflammation is super susceptible to any little thing.  He feels that although diet and lifestyle can help maintain a healthy colon, enemas and pills are necessary (or at least faster) at getting the colon into fighting shape.  He did say that he thinks no ONE thing makes colitis go away, it is a combination of all the interventions.  Again, light years ahead of my last GI.

Dr. Levesque also made me feel better about the risk of cancer since I’m going on 8+ years of colitis.  He’s never seen anyone actually develop colon cancer and the overall numbers don’t seem to actually increase as reported in a lot of data based on older information.  The numbers are simply not coming in as high as they were thought to.  Developing colon cancer is one of the things that keeps me up at night when I’m having a freakout moment, so hearing that it is not likely was hugely helpful.

My current plan is to get the results of the colonoscopy and sort of shop them around to different types of healers (GI, ND, acupuncturist, integrative MD, Ayurvedic healer, etc) to see what resonates the most with me.  It’s a total trip to learn about all these different types of healers and to see that each of them has their toolbox full of ideas, each of which is equally trusted and valid in their eyes.

Speaking of healing (wouldn’t it be nice to just be all healed up?), I attended a Chopra Center retreat last month called “Journey Into Healing” which was phenomenal.   It was geared toward integrative medicine, featuring Deepak himself and also Dr. Andrew Weil of anti-inflammatory fame.  My sister volunteered at a retreat there a few months back and knew I would love it (she was right, of course).  I was originally turned on to the Chopra Center because they do a 21-day meditation challenge a few times per year, and it’s all online and free.  I enrolled in my first one in August 2010.  I’ve since enrolled in 6 times….and I have yet to actually finish all 21 days.  haha.  It’s the thought that counts?  Meditation practice remains challenging for me.  The motivation factor strikes again!  With that one, I think a fear factor kicks in too, like, what’s going to happen?  Will my mind melt down and never come back?  What if I never reach total consciousness?  Am I a failure?  Damn performance anxiety.  I can’t get away from it even with intentional breathing.  Am I doing it right?  What do I look like?  haha.  My thoughts are so endless.

At any rate, there were probably 100 different interesting and perspective-changing events that happened to me during the retreat, but I think the most important was reminding myself to keep it simple.  It’s very easy for me to get bogged down in the details of Ayurveda or medicine or life in general.  But at the end of the day, just making yourself happy and calm seems to be the answer to so many questions.  Bobby McFerrin is a freaking genius!  haha.  Lots of ways and theories on how to do that (enter all those crazy details) but I’m working toward keeping it simple, happy and calm.

So choose one option below for your day and I’ll talk to you soon!  Love to all.

Be Happy

Categories: Balance, Colitis, Love | Tags: , , | 8 Comments

Balance

Awhile ago, Jon asked me what this term balance was all about because I’ve been throwing the word around like beads at a Mardi Gras parade (with less flashing).  My hippie friends and I are often saying things like: “My doshas are not in balance” or “I need to work on being more balanced” or “Get that balance out of your pocket!”…..okay the last one doesn’t make sense, but what is this elusive balance that we are trying to achieve?

I’ve come to realize that no matter what you eat, or how you eat it, there are going to be toxins in life that need to be addressed.  Disease cannot be managed by medicine alone.  These toxins come in not just through your food, but through your thought patterns and emotional choices.  Don’t get me wrong, food is wildly important in health.  It clears out the excessive toxins so your body can work on the real crap (pun intended).  Food is my medicine, thank you Hippocrates, and it is much preferred to 9 pills a day or steroids for me.  But it’s not the whole picture.  This pyramid seems a closer for nutritional guidelines:

primary food pyramid3

I think it’s missing a component on sleep and also fun.  I also think vegetables should be a larger section with fewer grains, definitely fewer proteins, and maybe even less fruit.  Veggies are pretty important.  At any rate, what this pyramid does show is that there has to be a balance between ALL of these areas in your life.  Without that balance, you can eat as much organic broccoli as you want….if your outer red circle is toxic crap, you will feel like toxic crap.  And for relationships, this applies hugely to the relationship with yourself as well as others.

I didn’t realize it, but somewhere along the way, I was fighting my inner wisdom and had sort of misaligned my relationship with self.  I was at war with my self-acceptance, my natural beauty, and now I have this “disease” that is literally eating up my colon with its own acids.  Great.  It left me with many feelings of shame, guilt, anger, imbalance, confusion and discouragement.  The strange part is that throughout this whole process, I was and am a super happy person.  I love my life and my family and friends.  But it is so hard for me to allow myself to feel true, unadulterated joy.  I often stop myself from being 100% vulnerable or 100% free.  I get damn close!  But still I stop at 98%.  That’s my move!  I stop short.  Why??  I feel….undeserving for some reason.  I struggle with the concept that I am special and that I have a right to a good life because I don’t want to come off as an entitled jerk.  What makes me different from the person who is outside, right now as I type this, without a home, without someone to take of them, shivering cold and hungry?  I am a human, same as them.  To me, my joy and amazing life is somehow a smack in their face.

I also have never enjoyed the idea that I am not in control.  Of anything.  And everything.  :)  So when situations occur where I am not in control of my body or my surroundings, I become very anxious.  Toxically anxious.  I don’t want to go to a place where I have to surrender everything.  This was a completely foreign concept for me when I was first introduced to it.  Surrender?  Give in?  Never!!??!  I am an amazonian woman warrior and I can do ANYTHING.  Give me something.  I will dominate it.  Giving in felt like giving up and I had not once opened myself up to having an experience where I had to give in and surrender.  I refused to show any weakness.

This may seem like a jump, but I’ll bring it back together.  :)  My therapist had me do an exercise the other day where I had to invite different feelings into my body, including love, guilt and joy.  Inviting love and joy into your body is one thing, that was awesome.  :)  Inviting guilt??!  I have tried for so so long to push guilt out of my body that it was a strange guest.  But it was immensely powerful to do it.  I made a few realizations with the exercise:

1–I am really good at breathing now!  I am very effective at breathing into areas, thoughts….being breathed by them is wonderful as well.  And through yoga and ujjayi breathing, I can bring these emotions in and out of my body relatively easily.  So I have that going for me.  Which is nice.

2–There’s only so many parts of your body and consequently, only so many parts of your body where you can experience emotions.  As luck would have it, love and guilt were both felt for me in my gut.  Shocker.

3–Emotions and feelings can only last so long.  Some longer than others, definitely, but they are not with you forever.  Reminding myself of that and experiencing it physically was very eye-opening.  I tried to hold on to each feeling as long as I could but eventually it just went away, no matter how hard I tried.  I feel empowered by this knowledge and it has helped me in the practice of non-attachment (aparigraha or vairagya in hippie Sanskrit yogi terms).

The fun part is that I am in the middle of this process and that I am living life!  I’m going through this seemingly tough time working my way through an “incurable” illness. (I put incurable in quotes because I refuse to believe it, despite the Mayo clinic’s warning.)  But in the meantime, I am becoming a more whole, assertive, loving version of myself.  I think I’ve been pretty darn excellent in how I treat other people in my life.  I’m trying to allow myself the opportunity to apply that same kindness to me.  I am allowed to be me and to be happy.  I know that my purpose in life is to help others.  I’ve known that for a long time.  What I didn’t fully understand is something I’d heard a million times, I just didn’t absorb and accept it: in order to truly and effectively help others, I have to accept myself.  Which means having moments of pure, unadulterated joy.  Having moments of complete, utter sadness.  Knowing that giving in and giving up are two completely different concepts.  Realizing that I am unique and special, and that is okay.  Just like this poster.

you are unique

None of this makes me “better” than the person who is homeless in the streets, it just makes me different.  (sidenote: I know nothing about this anonymous street person or their journey….why was I feeling bad about them when they could be having a completely normal or even great day?)

That “thing” that seemed out of reach just a few weeks ago when I wrote the post on my patient history is coming into focus and I am happy about that.  I am striving to set myself up for success by being honest with myself and doing what is right so I can function at an optimal level.  It is only from a place of love and acceptance that I can fully help others.  It’s the patience part that is hard now.  :)

Well.  That was a load off.  I’m going to go process now.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE

I was having an urge for baked goods (my kryptonite) so I made some muffins last night that turned out to be delicious!  I did use a 3/4 cup of flour (ahh!) but they were still super clean and tasty.  Not super sweet which was what I was going for, so you can add honey once you are eating them if you want.  Here’s the recipe if you want to try them out:

Carrot-banana-walnut-raisin Muffins adapted from the “Coffee & Quinoa” blog

Ingredients

¾ cup flour of your choice (almond or 100% whole wheat would be my suggestion)
¾ cup ground flaxseed
¾ cup rolled oats
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
¼ tsp nutmeg
¼ tsp clove
2 ripe to overripe bananas
1/3 cup canned pumpkin
¼ cup maple syrup
¼ cup applesauce
2 medium-sized carrots, grated
½ cup walnuts (I just smashed them with my hands, you don’t want them too small)
some raisins to taste…..I didn’t measure them!

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, mix together the dry ingredients (flour, oats, flaxseed meal, baking soda and spices).

In another bowl, mash the bananas (with a fork is fine). Add the pumpkin, maple syrup and applesauce and stir until combined.

Add the wet mixture to the dry mixture and stir to combine. I added in a little bit of water here, not much.  Gently mix in the grated carrots, walnuts and raisins.

Place muffin cups in tin and fill 90% of the way full with batter. Bake for about 25 minutes until golden brown. Remove from oven and serve warm.  Tasty!

Categories: Balance, Colitis, Love, Recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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